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The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance---What Women Should Know, by Katty Kay Claire Shipman
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Review
“The Confidence Code belongs in the bagof every woman in America. It combines groundbreaking scientific research and firsthand accounts from the world’s most powerful woman.” (Joanna Coles, Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan)“How do we make the most of our talents, skills, and interests? This book demonstrates that it’s not enough to know what we’re doing; our confidence is a key factor in our success. Fascinating reading for every woman who wants to take her life to the next level.” (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)“All too often, even the most successful women have indicated that their confidence is fleeting or domain-specific. The gifted authors who were behind Womenomics prove that can change. Discover how you can specifically develop that enduring sense of self-assurance in this remarkable book.” (Marshall Goldsmith, author of the international bestseller What Got You Here Won't Get You There)“Kay and Shipman shine a perceptive light on the crucial role that confidence plays in the ability of women to succeed. They offer women practical advice and the vision of a more hopeful future.” (Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, and author of Lean In)“Kay and Shipman provide a great blueprint for raising daughters….All of this research, as well as the authors’ own recounting of experiences with doubt in their professional lives, effectively builds into a comprehensive set of ingredients for the confident woman.” (Publishers Weekly)“An insightful look at how internalizing cultural stereotypes can hold women back from competing with men.” (Kirkus Reviews)“[Kay and Shipman] have written an enlightening, fascinating book that explains the relationship between confidence, resilience, risk and reward….This book can definitely help you learn to boost your confidence.” (Success)“[Kay and Shipman dive] into tons of fascinating research and stats that are worth reading…[b]ut most importantly, the book provides some seriously actionable advice from some of the most successful women in the world (authors included).” (Self.com)
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From the Back Cover
Confidence. We want it. We need it. But it can be maddeningly enigmatic and out of reach. The authors of the New York Times bestseller Womenomics deconstruct this essential, elusive, and misunderstood quality and offer a blueprint for bringing more of it into our lives.Is confidence hardwired into the DNA of a lucky few—or can anyone learn it? Is it best expressed by bravado, or is there another way to show confidence? Which is more important: confidence or competence? Why do so many women, even the most successful, struggle with feelings of self-doubt? Is there a secret to channeling our inner confidence?In The Confidence Code, journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman travel to the frontiers of neuroscience on a hunt for the confidence gene and reveal surprising new research on its roots in our brains. They visit the world's leading psychologists who explain how we can all chose to become more confident simply by taking action and courting risk, and how those actions change our physical wiring. They interview women leaders from the worlds of politics, sports, the military, and the arts to learn how they have tapped into this elemental resource. They examine how a lack of confidence impacts our leadership, success, and fulfillment.Ultimately, they argue, while confidence is partly influenced by genetics, it is not a fixed psychological state. That's the good news. You won't discover it by thinking positive thoughts or by telling yourself (or your children) that you are perfect as you are. You also won't find it by simply squaring your shoulders and faking it. But it does require a choice: less people pleasing and perfectionism and more action, risk taking, and fast failure.Inspiring, insightful, and persuasive, The Confidence Code shows that by acting on our best instincts and by daring to be authentic, women can feel the transformative power of a life on confidence.
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Product details
Hardcover: 256 pages
Publisher: HarperBusiness; 1 edition (April 15, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 006223062X
ISBN-13: 978-0062230621
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
339 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#25,235 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
More than half of this book is dedicated to describing research that shows that males are more confident than females. After reading one example after another, I was left feeling that there was not much hope for females when it came to learning confidence. Only chapters 6-8 cover how females can raise their confidence level (or, in the case of chapter 7, how you can raise a confident daughter), and even then the advice is basically limited to "Be willing to fail. Take action. Feel the fear and do it anyway." If you really want to know how to raise your confidence level and get along in society, reading "The Charisma Myth" might be time better spent.
I bought this book awhile ago, before I retired, because I was in an ill-fitting job, a quiet introvert among a group of extremely confident extroverts, and I was desperate for help. I didn't read it at that time. I wish I had. I have never been good at self-promotion, but in a workplace full of those who are, it's necessary. And this book shows how reasonable and honest self-promotion is a good thing and not a display of arrogance. We think nothing of men pushing themselves forward and touting their accomplishments, but in women it's considered tacky.This book points out how men learn, from childhood on, how to be confident, how to fail without feeling like a failure, while women tend to back away from that. Perhaps it is changing now, but that is definitely how it was when I was growing up. And worse, it was such a part of the social fabric that I never even thought twice about it. Women who talked themselves up were haughty. Humility was more attractive for women. But this left us vulnerable in the workplace, relegated to the back as men naturally push forward, and that is what the boss sees, leaving women's contributions unnoticed or under-noticed. I experienced this myself as, uncomfortable speaking up, I would hear others say what I was silently thinking and they got credit while I appeared mute and empty of ideas. Very foolish on my part. This book helps explain a lot of the thinking behind these types of actions and shows ways to change.Truly, I thought this would be just another flavor of the day business book but I was pleasantly surprised. It is primarily aimed at the work world but contains information useful at any point in life. I'm glad I finally read it.
Best book I've read in decades; excellent research and science plus authors own experiences woven in. Couldn't put it down!
I would like to see everyone who teaches even one girl, young woman, adult female, etc. read this book. We need, desperately, to change the way women think of themselves. It took nearly 80 years for me to gain the self-confidence that my brothers seem to have inherited along with other genes. We must do better. There is a great deal of evidence to support my contention that our mental capacity is as good as or greater than our male counterparts. Let's do whatever is necessary to keep our females acting this truth. This book is a great beginning! Jo Seier-Doofe
This books is a bit fluffy but an absolute must-read for any lady out there. Why do women not negotiate as well as men? Why are (some) women not taken as seriously as men in the workplace? This book mentioned so many things that I used to do myself and I could see how i'm stacking the deck against myself without even knowing it. I read it before a salary negotiation and as a result, I upped my initial asking number (and they gave it to me!). It's a thin book so you'll finish it in an afternoon or two. Also half of it is fluffy and skim-able. Again, if you're a lady, it's an absolute MUST read.
I really enjoyed reading this book - it was like a summary of the many instances of my own crises of confidence through my life, and provided much food for thought. I had forgotten (at nearly 68 years of age) that I used to be so unsure of myself - and yet all the examples they cited of women whom they'd interviewed all sounded horrifyingly familiar. I think those of us who are older, who have stuck it out in our careers, have gradually learned that we must keep taking action, stop over-thinking, and accept being less than perfect, but, it was lovely to see the way they charted those conclusions all laid out so clearly.I am recommending the book to many of my younger women friends and clients. I am also discussing it with the men in my life too - because the men have no idea how deeply pervasive the feelings of inadequacy can be in their very capable and clearly intelligent women.
This book has a lot of interesting science but besides that I found it hard to stay focused when reading it. I basically forced myself to finish it because I hate starting books and not finishing them. I do think that other people may enjoy this book more though considering I tend to enjoy thrillers and self help books the most. I thought this book would be like a self help book but it wasn't quite to my taste.
I have read a lot of female empowerment books and what I loved about this one was how they roped genetics as part of the confidence issue. I thought it was really interesting to see how our DNA influences us-- but also to know that we can surpass our genetic makeup and pave our own path with confidence.
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