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, by Michael P. Nichols
Download , by Michael P. Nichols
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Product details
File Size: 2547 KB
Print Length: 321 pages
Publisher: The Guilford Press; 2 edition (February 16, 2009)
Publication Date: February 16, 2009
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B005CWSC0Q
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#104,314 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I LOVE THIS BOOK ! I first purchased the audio version, which was very well done. So well done that i had to get the print version so that I can highlight and really study it. It is so easy to find fault with everyone else in your life regarding ability to listen, but I found this book to be invaluable when applied to MYSELF, and i have always considered myself a good listener ! This could be a marriage saver ! APPLY what you read, PRACTICE what is suggested, and life can get better ! Technology is ruining us.
This book WILL change your life and the lives of everyone you touch. I listened to it on Audible.com, which was ideal, because the audio version is well narrated and can truly "sink in" more than text can. It covers much more than what one would expect from a "listening" self-help book. It is not just about "active listening" with playback to the speaker every few minutes. It is about deep listening and truly "getting" what someone else needs. Everyone playing the role of spouse, parent, child, teacher, employer, or friend should read this book and put its wise ideas into practice!
Are you a bad listener? Cause I am. Or, at least I was before reading this book. Although it may not be a cure-all, it has helped me to be more aware of my thoughts while someone is speaking to me. Instead of normally wandering from one thought to the next, I now make a conscious effort to truly listen, which Dr. Nichols brings to light in his book; The Lost Art of Listening. While this book has helped me, I also have a few criticisms I must share.After reading through the other reviews for this book, I am surprised by how many thought the examples were so clear. While I can concur to some degree, I thought the examples were sudden and unexpected. In one paragraph he would be talking about an important aspect in listening, and in the next you find yourself in the middle of an example with no direction or forewarning. However, once I re-oriented myself and read through the example, I found it to be helpful in applying the meaning of what Dr. Nichols was trying to get across to my life.As a current student majoring in Communication, I have learned a thing or two about communication styles and the reasons why people react differently to certain words or phrases than others. One of these reasons is “trigger words,†which are words than incite a positive or negative reaction in someone. I have learned that one of my negative trigger words is that word people tend to call women which also happens to be another name for a female dog. I do not appreciate Dr. Nichols using this word so frequently, even for examples sake. It does not seem completely necessary to get the point across.Despite these criticisms, there were a few points in his book I really appreciated him adding, for example, his few pages on the differences between how society thinks men are supposed to listen vs. how women are supposed to listen; men give advice, women sympathize, etc. He made sure to say how important it is to listen without these pre-supposed ideas in mind and he asked the right questions, and for that I want to say a big Thank You!Overall, The Lost Art of Listening is an honest book that has helped me see how I listen, why I listen the way I do, and how I can improve the way I listen for future interactions.
This is a very good book. It is targeted to the lay person and contains some interesting self-tests and listening excercizes. It has proven useful on a personal level to improve understanding and communications between intimates.But it deals with listening in general and can be applied in any situation in which listening is necessary. Which is about every situation imaginable.A terrific choice for this topic.
I am a Dr and have practiced for 20 years, I have put ideas into practice right away, already seeing the positive fruit of change
Read the Epilogue first then again at the end. This section gives such a great philosophical overview (the author would hate that reference) and puts you in the open state to look critically at yourself and make some great changes. I will buy copies for my recently married children.
As a personal mastery trainer and coach I highly recommend this book. Everyone and every relationship can benefit from understanding and applying the knowledge professor Nichols puts forth. It's an easy read and is very practical. I have been teaching listening skills for two decades and learned how to listen better by reading this book!
I am really not the self-help type, but this is probably one of the best books ever on how to communicate with others - be it your partner, children, parents, friends, co-workers - simply everyone. The key is listening - a remarkably difficult skill to develop it turns out. I had the old print version (and loved it) and decided to re-purchase it for my kindle to take on vacation. I was surprised and delighted to see that it had been updated and while some of the text is still the same and a smidgen is now a bit dated (i.e. referring to a book from the 90s) it really doesn't matter because the ideas are so very powerful and timeless. Plus they have added exercises which are simple, but surprisingly difficult because it turns out that listening, really listening is so very hard. Yet it works - whenever I am mindful and really try to listen, the response is almost miraculous.I highly recommend this volume, indeed cannot recommend it highly enough, and go back to it whenever I feel myself slipping - especially with my spouse. It turns out people just want to be heard and while it does not solve everything, it is a helluva start.
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